ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
