ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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