you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Randomize
