It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
This house was built for laser tag.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
