I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
