He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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