I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
