its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I looked at my own cervix.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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