my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
