Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
