Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
