I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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