Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
