I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
