I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
