Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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