She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
