Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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