She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
