We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
