If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
