I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize