she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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