All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
