Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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