You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
