Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
