Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize