I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just had sex on a roof
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
