dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
