Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
