am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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