Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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