I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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