i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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