Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
