i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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