its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
