It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
