I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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