She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
