i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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