Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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