You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Randomize
