are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
