Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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