who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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