Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
