All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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