I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
