Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
