I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
