Dual....:-)
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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