we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
