Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
