Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
