So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
what day is it and did you see me today?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize