i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize