Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
